Lauren Arienzale

Phoenix

I’ll burn all the evidence,
I swear to god I’ll do it

partying with the trust fund kids 
dipping into their jungle juice 
screaming in anorexic agony black 
vomit like coffee grounds
how white tiled walls and fluorescent lights 
became cornerstone confessionals

taking a stranger to bed 
breathless, bruised
disappointed, damned
standing motionless between mildew walls 
considering how long
my sins could live on flesh 
—considering batshit crazy and 
always bullying, how they would 
drop dead if they knew

my rosary beads are
a yellow pill and a purple capsule my 
savior is just
an average person
I’m halfway to hell because it 
has never been a man.

salvation is in ashes at my feet